Heiliger Abend

 ^^^ scenes from my Christmas morning run.^^^

^^^where we spent Heiliger Abend for church.^^^

 ^^^O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum.^^^

 ^^^yes, they did wear dirndls on Christmas. I die.^^^

 ^^^champers!^^^

 ^^^advent advent^^^

 ^^^platzchen, my god I've eaten so many cookies this Christmas.^^^

 ^^^picture perfect au pair/host family coupling, wouldn't you say?^^^

 ^^^kartoffelsalat, not a fan in the U.S. but the German version is delicious!^^^

^^^I finally started to experiment with cheese after a lifetime of hating it, when in Rome.^^^

Hey friends! Sorry for the extended absence on this end. It appears as though when you start dating someone... priorities change? I've been very neglectful of this little blog and it's lifeline updates recently. The days and weeks have been passing quicker and quicker. Where does time go?! Is this what the rest of life feels like, each day just accelerating past the next?

I've been keeping particularly busy with au pair responsibilities leading up to the Christmas week. Lots of babysitting, gift wrapping, laundry (so much laundry) and errand running. While it was overwhelming in the weeks leading up to the holidays - time flew by! I was really looking forward to Christmas Eve (Heiliger Abend) as that is the big to-do for Christmas here in Germany.

The morning of Christmas Eve I went for a sparklingly clear and super warm  mildly temperate run by the Isar river. This city I live in sure is gorgeous. I was very at peace and centered after some endorphines and frishe luft. My host family, their grandparents and myself all walked through our neighborhood to the large town church for a Christmas mass. The nativity performance was much cuter in German, and it was fun hearing all of the Christmas music with the same tunes but in another language.

When we came back from church Oma and myself kept the kids upstairs while Christkind delivered presents and rang the bell signaling their permission to come open gifts. I have to say, I really enjoy the German tradition of opening gifts in the evening time. Because that means champagne for the adults - Prost!

Yes to Love, Yes to Life, Yes to Staying in More

I've just spent the most wonderful night doing..... absolutely nothing important. Two glasses of wine, three NPR articles, three burning candles, one chamomile tea and one "Here's The Thing" podcast interview with Alec Baldwin and Lena Dunham and I have become a supremely content girl. There's also a marvelous satisfaction in having a night in and alone, and knowing that you can go to bed early. I understand this post makes me sound like a reclusive grandmother that is possible beginning to suffer from dementia - but that is just because I'm not burrito-ed in my comfy bed writing when I'm out living, breathing and drinking in the world.

This weekend was a strange and increasingly familiar mixture of old friends and new friends, awkward house parties and riotous college parties, reliable Irish pubs, bottles and bottles of 3€ wine, laughs until our abs hurt, chocolate, more chocolate, more laughter that caused tears, there were dates and hangovers and opposite-sex sleepovers for some, dozens of cups of coffee, and a few items lost. On the whole, it was a blast. But it also blasted the stamina out of my Monday. 

I spent my Monday standing in a worthless line at the visa office, followed by aimless wandering and impulse purchases (damn you H&M). I technically had the night off to go out, but after such a full weekend I really did not envision myself going out or going crazy. Tonight was everything I hoped for, a perfect emotional break and tranquil time to do some intellectual reading or personal brain probing, and have little catch-up conversations on Facebook. I love hearing blurbs about friends' lives from home. Things I used to hear on their couch, or in their car, or at a bi-weekly coffee date.

Hearing about time marching on in everyone's world should feel natural - it's life - but it makes my entire life here feel surreal, make pretend. Slap me for this cliché, but my life here does not feel real. I wake up every single morning and by noon I've already thought to myself at least once, "How fucking beautiful is it that this is my life?" Well self, it is pretty damn beautiful. I am the happiest I have been in ages. And not an impermanent or momentary happiness, but a serious joy. One that just overflows into my day. Sure, I have moments of homesickness. I would sell an organ to snuggle my dog, I wish I were at friend's triathlon and half-marathon finishes, my little sister's first high school dance, my Dad's birthday, and don't even get me started on what it will be like away from home on the holidays. 

And yes, I encounter immense frustrations as well. Being an au pair is really, truly frustrating at times guys. Living in a house that's not yours, raising someone else's kids, not to mention those kids don't really owe you a whole lot, like respect or anything like that. It can be frustrating and testing. I'm grateful for the life and social skills I had before this - but I learn new ones every day working with kids. I am better at choosing my battles. I do my best and let that be enough. When things don't go how I planned for them to go (like 98% of the time when you're with small children) I just go wherever that moment and new wave is taking me. 

But thoughts of homesickness and frustration don't dominate my mind or my days. They do not nearly define them. Moving here was selfish, but it was the best thing I've done for myself - and right now I'm okay with that. Munich I love you! Life I love you! 

5 Things They Don't Tell You About Au Pair Life

As I searched for an au pair agency (I didn't end up using one but instead made a free profile on aupairworld.net) and host family I stumbled a little when I thought about what exactly I wanted in a family. Some profiles were obvious to decline, but others seemed warm, welcoming and honest about their expectations for and of an incoming au pair. But how can you tell which family is lying because they know what sounds good to potential au pairs? 

The first step in choosing a family is to make sure you can skype with them, and if they have had an au pair previously, always make sure you get to talk to them. If you're not able to communicate with the au pair that comes before you, this is likely very bad (duh). 

I was able to talk with my family's au pair before me, she is also from California and we share the same name - which was a freaky coincidence and nothing more. I am unbelievably grateful that I got to speak with her. She was candid about the family, as much as she could be with some other girl she had never met. When I decided on this host family and arrived here, we overlapped for about a month and she taught me more than I could have ever dreamed. I'm happy to report that she and I became very close friends! Shout out to Kaitlyn - I hope San Diego is sunny and delightful for you. :) 

However fantastic Kaitlyn is though, or any au pair you come after, there will just be things that either they can not express to you or that you both handle very differently. Here are 5 things that I did not necessarily expect, and I wish I had known about before I arrived:

1. Living Where You Work Is Hard

This seems obvious, but when you want downtime to relax at home on a day off, often times you end up working or helping out. In my case, I'm able to retreat to the basement area or stay in my room. This isn't always possible depending on living situations though. And sometimes you just want a day to sit on the couch and drink tea and watch tv and sloth. You can't do that when the three kids you usually watch are making a playdoh pizza on the kitchen table. 

2. Light Housework Is Not Always Light

In my contract it stated responsibilities as "childcare and light housework" it went on to give a percentage breakdown of "90% childcare, 10% housework". Most German au pair contracts are similar. The stories I have heard about whether the family's follow this breakdown vary wildly. In my case, I was afraid of this so I took care to ask my potential host mom what my responsibilities would be in detail. She was a little vague, which I should have seen as a warning sign. I am currently struggling with broaching the subject of how much house work I do. Based on comparisons with other au pairs, cleaning the kitchen/table and doing dishes after meals, picking up the kids' bedrooms, and doing your own laundry seems to be the most appropriate interpretation of "light" housework. My responsibilities go way above that and this leads to some resentment on my part, as well as me constantly going over my daily maximum of hours worked. So beware. Make sure to ask detailed questions about housework to the host mom, and the au pair before you (when possible). Then, if it doesn't match your expectations once you arrive, address it as soon as possible. This brings me to number 3.....

3. Negotiate Your Contract, Stand Up For Yourself When It Is Stretched Or Broken

Again, this is tough when you live with your boss. But if resentments and frustrations about being over-worked aren't talked about it is likely to explode in a big way down the road. Know what your contract states, and when they send you a copy to sign, actually read it. I read mine, and things still did not turn out exactly how I imagined them, and that's ok. It is then important to address those concerns and confusions as soon as they arise. Just like in any relationship with another person, communication with your host parents is key. I feel like I am a constant fountain of questions, but I should be! I am living in a new country, with a new family, speaking a new language. It's going to take me longer than 7 weeks to understand their intricacies and expectations. 

4. Children Want Their Parents More Than You

 Fact. Time can help this, but all kids want mommy and daddy to be the ones to sit by them, or brush their hair, or put on their shoes, etc. This can make you feel a little useless as the au pair. Give it time, sometimes just sitting there and talking with/distracting them is enough. Hopefully the parent will tell you when there are things that you can help with while the children are being particular. It can take a few months for this to even out and for the children to complete trust and accept you, just wide that wave patiently. So far, some days are great and other days all three kids scream when I try to help with anything. 

5. A Big House Is Not Always Best

My host family has a new, gorgeous modern home. It's a gigantic cement block with walls of windows. This is nice sometimes, but there are two problems: everything is white and the place is huge. This means that with 3 kids under 5 years-old, all dirt and smudges show. Also, there's a crazy amount of surface area to clean. The upside is that I have great accommodations that are removed from the family, my living area in the basement is relatively private. I still have not decided if I would have preferred a smaller place where my room is in closer proximity. Everyone's ideal is different, but it's something to consider when choosing a host family.

A Broad, Abroad

In regards to the title, I am now both of these things. I have officially left the best coast to fly across

the globe and work as an Au Pair. For those reading who are unfamiliar with the French term, think of

the popular ABC Family movie in the early 2000s (minus the whole marrying the employer bit). An Au

Pair is for practical purposes a glorified international babysitter.

As of tomorrow, I will be living in my host family's home in Munich, Germany. There are three children: 

four year-old twins named Max and Emma as well as three year-old Mathilda. They will likely be 

celebrities on this lil' blog, so more of them to come in the near future. 

 

And now, a famous quote to get us off to a cliché'ed blog beginning:

"Reputation is something people with courage can do without."- Rhett Butler to Scarlett O'Hara

If you're unsure what movie this quote is referencing, stop reading now and google search Gone With The Wind)

Then spend 4 hours watching it. 

This morning I awoke a little after 5:15a.m., West Coast time, to blindly shower and shove last minute

things like a toothbrush and an iPhone charger into my carry-on bag(s). Hi, I'm Katie and I'm an 

over-packer. Is it laughable that I'm proud of my 3 checked bags and large carry-on backpack?

I brought a smaller suitcase as a carry-on but was able to sneakily check it at the gate for free.

I love that trick. I loath baggage fees. Remarkably, I checked 3 suitcases and not a single one 

was over 50 pounds! The expert packer award goes to me, "I'd to thank my mom and her rolling

skills, Phoebe and her ability to bear her entire weight on a suitcase to zip it closed, and my dad/his 

credit card for making the purchase of these suitcase guts possible."

I felt a little swollen and groggy for the first two hours of the journey, but anything in my world can 

be cured with coffee and eggs. I look a bit shambly ('sh*t girls say' youtube video reference) but

who do I need to impress on my 18 hour trip? Oh yeah, no one. 

Nostalgia, nervousness, nor homesickness have set in and I'm not inviting them to come any 

time soon. I am only excited. Excited with curiosity, happiness, relief, all of it. I've felt immense 

love in the last few months and especially in the past week and final southern Californian days.

Thank you to everyone who called, accepted my calls, texted, emailed, and gave me hugs and

sweet words. Reminders have been espoused to me by both family and friends about how proud

everyone is of me. While I'm grateful for the encouragement - I don't feel at all like I'm doing any 

sort of noble deed. 

I'm going off to explore for myself and therein to explore myself. I have almost zero idea what to expect, and

that is what makes all of this thrilling. There is no fear associated with the unknown this time, only 

a fiery desire to see what's around the next corner! While I've received confused looks, silent

 judgements and spoken judgements of my choice to live and work abroad, I have two things to say

 to those that expressed or harbored doubt of my plans:

1. YOU ARE WRONG.

2. Refer to the quote introducing this post.

It's unconventional and random and it's going to be fun as hell so strap in with me and let's go. 

This blog will be my way of illustrating my traveling, my day-to-day life, my work, my pleasures, 

my embarrassments (yes there will be many) and my new found loves. I am planning to post as

many pictures as I do words. When I'm unable to do that I promise to paint a picture with my

words for you all instead. 

Ganz liebe Grüße | Katie